April 01, 2004
A Rose by Any Other Name
Bud Selig, in a move that stunned the baseball world, reinstated Pete Rose today and named him commissioner of baseball:
"Baseball is at a very important crossroads," Selig explained. "With the steroids scandal looming large, I thought Pete would be the best man for the job. Who better to catch cheaters than the greatest cheater since Hal Chase?"
Rose took the podium and seemed a bit confused.
"I thought they wanted me to catch cheetahs," said Rose. "Give me enough Greenies and I'll be happy to chase those pussies. They'll find out why I'm called Charlie Hustle!"
Rose was then overheard calling his bookie to place a bet on the Cheetah.
Update: Doug Pappas seems to think Bud is staying on forever.
You got me for about 10 seconds, David! The 1st came up quick on me, so that's how you caught me off guard. Now I have to clean my screen of coffee cuz of the spit take I did.
I think you need to tone it down a bit next year. The really good ones you have to read twice before you check your calendar.
Better to go overboard on April Fool's, than say, Columbus Day.
David, thanks for putting a smile on my face!
" all B.S. all the time...."